I started eighth grade in 1972 when Title IX was enacted.
Did Title IX help with my self-promotion? No.
For too long the education amendment remained in infancy with small impact on our schools and sports and education programs. Forty years later and there is still disparity in the distribution of funds between female vs. male programs. But I digress.
Due to that disparity, many women of my generation were truly not brought up to promote self. Our school athletes—track, football, wrestling, basketball— were boys, all accustomed to the limelight, to having attention focused on them.
Girls were cheerleaders, color guard, band members. Female basketball and volleyball were just getting started. There is nothing wrong with any of these pursuits. However, the attention was always us as a group, not as an individual scoring points.
Self-Promotion can be Positive
Confidence helps with your contributions to the world. Self-assurance feeds positive behavior, reinforcing positive behavior.
The recent launch of Michael Connelly’s, The Burning Room, is very positive self-promotion. His PR was blatant, gutsy, unapologetic and fine with me. He has a great product to sell (as I am two-thirds through the book) and is happy to share that.
I’ve been blogging for four years. After a slow start, I got it down to a weekly blog. I’m not technical, so my ability to grow readership has only been through content and sharing it with people I know. My registration list is pathetically low. It wouldn’t impress a single agent. I tell myself I’m writing for the discipline of it—being responsible for a weekly blog is a big deal to me. Achieving it and having something to say each week, is a good thing. But without promoting it properly, my hard fought words are languishing in cyberspace.
Where is My Ability to Self-Promote?
Recent discussions on the topic with some women friends have made me realize it’s not only my problem. There is some ego-gene a lot of us are missing. Having that trait would provide us the pedestal from which to launch ourselves to greater and greater things. When I read Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s letters and diaries, I see this same lack in her. She was a well educated, upper class woman married to a national hero. Mrs. Lindbergh rubbed elbows with international bigwigs, sold numerous articles and books and yet always … always … there is this bit of self doubt that creeps through her honest words. I doubt if Charles ever wrote a sentence conveying that.
You out there who love the women in your life: your sisters, nieces, cousins, mothers, aunts, wives, friends…give them an extra boost today. Jolt them with a true compliment. Praise the things they do that enrich your lives. Give them flowers in celebration of who they are. Convince them to draw forth their inner warrior, the one lying still inside them and urge them to shout: I can win this battle! I am worth the fight! I can accomplish this goal!
** Here’s How to Help a Blogger!
Read: Follow Your Bliss
Since I sell promotional products I try to get people to promote themselves all the time. When I started this business I was told I would never make it because I was a woman and it was a man’s business. After years of hard work it is paying off. I think gaining the respect of my peers and customers made the difference. It didn’t happen over night, so I would say never give up.
This really struck a chord with me., I’ve spent more time in the corporate world than I would like to admit. What was even more interesting is that my husband and interchangeably were the spouse of the executive. It made life very interesting indeed. Regardless, I still had trouble promoting my own work. It took a long time before I was able to give myself permission to do so.
With all you’re doing these days, Susan, I’m sure glad that you’ve taken that self-permission to heart!
Hello Rose
I am from Kashmir and as it is divided between India and Pakistan so from both sides(countries) it is kept in dark and mostly population lives in rural areas with less facilities.
There are not much opportunities for the women but I am happy to say that the literacy rate of women in most of the parts of Kashmir is more than men.
As far self promotion is concerned , this lacks everywhere and hidden in dark. People are scared to bring their girls in light but happy to invest and push their sons in light.
I feel the condition today is worst than your 60’s. I feel that in may part women need to be aware of the fact that their daughters also need boost.
Thank you for your nice post, much appreciated and I feel that I will try to go tomorrow in world with more strength and confidence.
I’m sure you are right about that, Andlee. I have a friend who does missionary work around the world–she gives me first hand reports on the situations for women outside of the USA. Our repression is entirely different. It is all so bad…I will always puzzle about why people cannot simply see each other for their uniqueness as individuals and celebrate those differences. I am encouraged by what you wrote about literacy–words open all the worlds for us!
Hi Rose, I loved this.. I’m all for women being confident, fearless and in control of their lives. I am lucky to have a wonderful group of strong women in my life. Women should always support and encourage each other! thanks for this post! Noelle
Glad to hear that you have that, Noelle! It’s critical. Madeleine Albright said: “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” And I believe that is so. I’ve been fortunate to work with some incredible, encouraging women over the course of my life. And now I’m doing The Artist’s Way with a group that I admire and keep learning from.
Rose, I know exactly what you mean. I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s and my life choices were: become a nurse,a teacher or get married. I think probably this kind of thinking has kept women from self-promotion, more so than men. Time to change that, don’t you think?
It sure is, Lenie! I live with rose-colored glasses and think that we really can just have simple equality–opportunities for all, best person for the job regardless of anything but skill/education. Women able (we’ve always been “able” to do anything they set their hearts on. Ah, optimism!
If you go back to the time when you were in 8th grade part of the problem was that parents didn’t raise their daughters the same ways they raised their sons when it comes to “promoting” them. Many talented girls were protected rather than promoted. I think things have changed for the better but not to the point where the issue has disappeared.
I hear what you’re saying there, Ken. I grew up with parents who fully supported my writing and yet earning a living as a writer was out of their realm of experience. So while I was never dissuaded from following my passion, I was also encouraged to study a real subject in college and get a real job. As a result, I’ve had satisfying jobs all my life, but my passion has always been right there–still driving me. In counting my blessings, I count the friends and family and fellow bloggers who interact with me and my writing!
Well said Hilary. I’ve been a coach and a mentor and you’re quite right about the difficulty women have with self promotion, but I think part of that also has to do with the fact there are so few role models to show women how to do it the right way and not everyone can or wants to be a rock star.
I’m a pretty extreme Introvert, and yet contrary to what the “label” implies, I’ve also enjoyed a career in travel, writing, coaching and public speaking. I learned early on to focus on the work and what I’m passionate about and that frees me to be the little engine driving my mission rather than feeling like I’m hanging myself out over the cliff. 🙂
Glad to hear your perspective, Marquita. Some of my Bible study friends and I were discussing my blog this morning (over coffee-what’s better than that?) We were debating the line between being humble, putting our faith first, and yet still being able to be confident in our abilities and in offering them to the world. You said it well in saying about putting the work out there first. It takes the pressure off of self!
This struck an all too familiar chord with me, having spent the larger part of my life as a corporate wife, standing in the shadows yet largely responsible for the success of my husband (now ex). Yet I am shy about promoting my own work…as if it’s a different skill set altogether! Laugh! I’ve just subscribed to your blog ,first because i have been enjoying it very much and second, as a way to compliment a sister and like mind:)
Jacqueline, thank you for subscribing! I have signed up for yours as well. And maybe that is the thing we can all do–find people who can promote for us from a place of generosity and abundance. Congratulations on unveiling your new self in a life you get to create on your own. Bravo!
Let us go into this day being a stronger, brighter version of ourselves. Thanks for your words, that I promise you, always make a difference.
Good outlook, Jenny. I like the “being a stronger, brighter version of ourselves.” Maybe if we all worked toward that on a daily basis the trickle down effect would take hold and the whole world would become a brighter place!
I love especially how you round off this post, Rose. We all fight incredible battles about whether we should or should not, whether we’re worthy or not worthy–battles with ourselves. Is it fear? Why don’t we shift that mindset, and instead of being so hard on ourselves, use the fear to advantage and learn to push ourselves toward the best selves we can be? We can! Thank you for sharing this post with us, thank you for brightening my day!
Good perspective, Hilary! Let’s work on zapping that blasted fear out of ourselves and moving on. There are many more important battles to be fought in life than those we bring onto ourselves. You’ve inspired me to look at this week differently!