There’s Significance to Smiling When You Walk Away

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Do you agree that it’s important to sustain your smile after you initially give it to someone?

What message does it send if you smile at someone, they turn away, your smile disappears, and they spin around to see your smile is gone? If someone observes your interaction, what do they think?

I think: 

  • They’re too busy to stay in the moment.
  • The smile was fake because it was turned off so quickly.
  • They were selling the smile and now they aren’t.
  • The interaction was not a genuine exchange.

Honest Smiles Between People Change Everything

Pretend you’re training a puppy and say the word, “No!” with firmness. Now think of something/someone who puts a true smile on your face. Then try saying a commanding, No, again. Luna, my crazy cattle dog/border collie/Anatolian shepherd, figured this out fairly quickly. “Mom is laughing, I’m not in trouble. Mom just screeched, uh oh, run for the hills.” Yes, I am convinced she thinks these thoughts.

black and white dog
Luna

Back to that serious command attempt while wearing a smile. It’s impossible, isn’t it? The word might come out a bit growly, but there’s no impact behind it. Smiling changes everything. It’s why people who do a lot of telephone work are taught to smile when they dial. My first telephone-dominated job the boss set a mirror on my desk. “Smile,” she commanded. It was a great lesson! You hear if someone sounds happy or irritated which is me when I’m on the receiving end of a telemarketer.

Place Impacts Our Demeanors

I learned the power of a sustained smile from living in Red Lodge, Montana for ten years. Recently being on vacation in that tiny town of 2,000 refreshed this for me. I’ve often heard visitors to Pittsburgh say how friendly the people here are and that’s good to know. But people in Red Lodge make Pittsburghers look standoffish. No kidding.

A walk down Broadway, Red Lodge’s main street, has people nodding at you as if you’re old friends. People want to know where you’re from and seem to always know something about that place. When I mention I lived in there for a decade, the friendly level rises a notch—unbelievable that it’s possible. 

What does this have to do with the title of the blog? When we finish conversing with someone, I don’t want my smile to fade so quickly they think: that person isn’t genuine. I want my smile to last in their minds long after my words have faded.

grandfathers & granddaughters
Dad with his beloved granddaughter–two peas in a pod

Grins Connect Us

Once, I was riding the Pittsburgh trolley into the city, watching people get on/off at the various stops. Many folks were absorbed with their smartphones. At one point, a gentleman in a motorized wheelchair quietly drove on. His polo shirt and shorts revealed a body comprised of skin and bones, joints riddled by perhaps MS. His head had a permanent tilt to one side of his thin, corded neck. There was a foot control and he had one shoe off so he could drive his wheels.

My memory zipped straight back to my dad and his worn-away-from-ALS body. He used a motorized chair to speed up and down Griffith Road for one autumn and one spring before he was gone.

This man caught my eye and I gave him a smile—the kind I gave my dad a million times. The grin I got back stole my heart. I marveled that a skinny person, with a thin face, could produce a smile that stretched that broad. It was obvious from the look in his shining eyes that his mental faculties were in tact. Like my father, it was his body that failed him. 

A few more trolley stops, a few more times I would look up from my book and he would see me looking at him. We’d both smile at the same time. Soon, he got off. I waved to him as he was departing, not expecting more than a smile in return—unsure if his hands functioned. As he drove by, he looked at me and shot his right arm up into the air in a huge wave.

My heart exploded with joy. He received my smile and another wave.

Smiling Can Change Anyone’s Sadness into Happiness

I have many blessings and many reasons to be joyful. My life is full and rich with friends and family I adore. I have a body that works well in 98% of the ways it should.

But a smile…. A momentary opportunity to connect with someone who is perhaps unseen by too many people out of their own embarrassment or awkwardness … that beautiful huge smile filled my heart.

Have you surprised someone with a smile that lingered?

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Read: Friendship & a $20 Bill