Random People Impact Our Lives
During college a friend of a friend, whose name I no longer recall, needed a ride to the train station. The mutual friend wasn’t available. The depot was less than an hour’s drive from my apartment, so I offered to give him a lift.
I was the proverbial starving student, working through college at minimum wage jobs. My education included student loans, egg salad, and tuna fish. I couldn’t go near either food for a decade following graduation, but they were cheap. Pennies counted. Okay, quarters, but you get the idea. I was poor.
He was a college graduate, working full-time, and doing well financially. As we talked during our drive, he insisted I take a $20 tip for the ride. With gas prices in the early days of the 1980s, twenty bucks meant multiple weeks driving around. We had a huge debate about me accepting money for the act I chose to do out of kindness. He finally stuffed the bill in the glove box. “You may not need it now, but you will some time. Keep it in the car or your wallet, tucked away, and it will always be there.”.
Carrying on the $20 Bill Tradition
Since the hot summer of 1980, I’ve had a twenty hidden somewhere connected to my car. Struggling financially or flush, the twenty remained in my glovebox, purse, checkbook, wallet, or the present hiding place….
Had I realized I’d be doing this forty years later, I would have neurotically noted the year I used the bill and why.
That bill served multiple purposes. It filled a gas tank or splurged on drinks with a friend the night before payday. That stashed bill gave me a modicum of security. It’s always there, available, ready to help me out of a jam. Or be passed to someone who needs it more than I do at that precise moment.
That $20 is Like Having a Friend Nearby
You know the kind of person I’m talking about. The folks we tuck into a crevasse in our lives. We know they’re invariably prepared to be pulled out to support us at a moment’s notice. Those are the friends who love us without fail and without question.
Each person got pulled into my orbit and I into theirs. With everyone I’ve kept over the decades, I wonder why I can’t remember $20-bill-man’s-name. We were only in the same stratosphere for a short time and yet look at the impact he’s had on my life.
They know we’re wacky around the edges and that we don’t unfailingly make the right decisions. Friends accept when we don’t remember to say thank you or forget to be gracious to them. But they keep loving us.
Which, psst, means they’re wacky, too. Right?
Maintaining Our Friendships
I love sending cards—randomly as the mood strikes, birthdays, the arrival of spring, the celebration of anything. Christmas holidays usually has me mailing about sixty cards. I write notes or letters. Maybe in one I tuck in a photo; another I draw funny faces with colored pens. I’ve collected friends from living in different states, traveling to different countries, from jobs, and a longing for diverse friendships.
Friends are tucked into special places in each other’s hearts. We pull them out at the right time for the right purpose for the right need only that friendship provides. Maybe it’s something as simple as filling one another’s laughter quota for a day. I have one friend I call up and ask, “giggle for me,” and Tricia does and the world is righted. Or, maybe, it’s giving someone a lift to the train station.
Writing this post has me looking at that twenty in a new light. When I’ve been flush and a friend hasn’t, I’ve slipped a twenty to them and explained why. Wonder if anyone has passed on the tradition? What a fun example of how the little things we do in life ripple into the world around us.
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Read: The Gift of Friendship
RoseMary — what a beautiful story. I have several friends who are “tucked” away and always have my back. I cherish their friendship, which is worth more than any amount of gold.
Thank you, Jeannette. I appreciate hearing that from you. Friends are so important and yes, more valuable than gold!
I also keep a $20 bill in my car, and it has come in handy several times. I like your comparison to a good friend. You’re right, they too are there for us when needed. They give us security. And they serve multiple purposes. I once heard the suggestion that when you pick up a penny, remember “in God we trust” as printed on the penny. You’ve given me something to think about when I see that $20 bill.
Oddly enough, Susan, I find a lot of pennies and this comment has given me a new way of thinking about those little copper buggers!
I always enjoy reading your blogs Rose Mary – so full of life and wisdom.
What great advice you were given to keep $20 in your car. Emergencies will arise and the money can be replaced as and when you use it. I went through a phase of not carrying cash and realised that in some situations a card just will not do. Also I occasionally forget to ask for cashback when in the supermarket and I feel frustrated with myself.
Thank you very much, Phoenicia. That’s sweet of you to say. If I have any wisdom, I got it from my parents for sure.
Yep, have to always have a bit of cash on hand. I laugh at myself because the first thing I did when we landed in Wales is get cash from the ATM and then hand my sister and her daughter each a $20 in case we got separated and had an emergency! I guess that lesson really has stuck with me.