What do four coffee cups have to do with frugal living?
Post college, I worked in a low paying retail job, the same as got me through college. An economical way of life was forced on me.
I lived on my own in a “dinky,” affordable apartment with second-hand furniture, paying off my student loan, trying to decipher life after graduation. There ought to be a course taught on that topic: Successfully surviving senioritis and transitioning to the real world.
I survived four years taking up neither pot smoking (the late seventies drug du jour) or coffee (legal drug du jour of 95% of students, at least until Red Bull.) Eventually, I added scoops of instant coffee to boiling water, inhaling the steeping bouquet. Does that count as snorting caffeine? I loved the aroma of coffee from childhood, awaking early, and hearing the percolator as my dad got ready for work. The scent of brewing grounds wafted to the room I shared with Jackie and all was right with the world.
Having begun tentatively sipping coffee to actually wanting to drink it, I needed proper, pretty cups. Wandering in the store after another grueling twelve-hour day in retail management (masochists apply), I spotted this foursome. The whimsical birds struck my fancy. I put one in my cart.
Tired of the forced-scrimping, I attempted to negotiate a pay raise with my female boss. My legitimate question was to ask how anyone running a store was expected to live on my wage. She responded, “Ask your parents for help.” My jaw dropped at the same moment a gasp of shock escaped my lips. I blurted, “You’re kidding, right? I’m a college graduate and you expect me to ask my parents for help?”
Thriftiness Ended Up Being Easy
It took four pay periods to add one cup per market trip to my kitchen. They cost less than $3.00 a piece.
Not long after I’d accumulated these gems, a casual friend visited, having coffee before work. She hadn’t finished hers and announced, “I’ll take this with me and return your cup later.” I said, “No, you won’t. Those are my good cups.” I yanked a chipped mug from the cupboard and dumped her brew into it. She was affronted, but so was I. It was an attitudinal trait in each of us. I had been supporting myself for ten years, eking by. She married rich and spent her income on whatever stuff she wanted. Living frugally was in my DNA, but not in hers.
Every time I pull one of these bird-decorated cups from the cupboard to make tea—perfect for a cuppa—I smile. Thirty years later and they still strike a cord of pleasure. I love them not just because they’re pretty, but also because my small investment has endured.
The cups remind me that I’d rather spend less money on possessions, tending what I own with care, keeping items for longer rather than buying new ones. The money I’ve saved over the years has gone instead to spending time with family and friends and traveling adventures.
Proper Money Management Equals Frugality
Around 1995, I read a great book—How to Get What You Want in Life with the Money You Already Have. It’s out of print and some techniques are dated. The first year I put the practices into play, I took a three-week vacation ninety percent paid for in advance. What a relaxing way to travel!
While husband never read the book, he has the same outlook toward money that I have. We agonize over spending five dollars on something fun but unnecessary, preferring to save for a trip to Hawaii. When you compound that five dollars every week for X number of months, it has an impact on that vacation.
I’m not always frugal, I promise. Years ago, I indulged in Mikasa brandy snifters and wine glasses paying $25 for each. As my income grew did I spend more on treating myself? You betcha. When one of those goblets shattered, I didn’t bother replacing it. At my parties I put out an array of wine glasses—different shapes, sizes, and colors—for guests to choose from.
I hate clothes shopping (that dreaded retail environment), and never got into designer clothes. I can’t tell a Claiborne from a Dolce & Gabbana from a Versace. Yes, Fashion Week in Milan was lost on me.
Once in a blue moon, we play the lottery. I have an ongoing list of philanthropic enterprises should we ever win. Wouldn’t it be fun to drive around with a seat full of umbrellas, handing them out on a rainy day? Maybe I could buy an old warehouse, turning it into a writer’s retreat, hosting free events. How about giving bags full of socks and food gift cards to homeless people?
A Favorite Win-the-Lottery Idea
How about starting a chain of female-owned auto repair shops, catering—with bias—to women. This was prompted by me calling Dad while I was away at college:
“The mechanic says I need a such and such on the car and it will cost this much.”
Dad, “Tell that yahoo your car doesn’t have one of those. If he doesn’t fix it right, I’ll drive there to deal with him myself.”
Women have to be economical as long as our salaries don’t match our careers.
I can’t comprehend at what money level my/our lifestyle would change and we would spend money on miscellaneous whatchamacallits. If we won a million dollars would … If we won five million … thirty. Do you see where this is going? It’s so far removed from my ability to think that way that I can’t get my brain to go there. I’ll keep living this simple, frugal life.
What the bird-covered coffee cups taught me is that I don’t need much to be happy. Frugality isn’t necessarily doing without. I learned that I don’t mind waiting to get what I really like.
What’s your relationship with money? Do you have a balance between spending now and saving for later?
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Read: Friendship & $20
Hi RoseMary. I’ve never ever been a saver. My Mom died so young and never got a chance to splurge as they were always “saving for a rainy day.” It never rained on her. I swore I’d never live that kind of life of always denying myself simple pleasures. I am not extravagant. But I do enjoy life to the fullest.
Ah, those rainy days, Doreen. Once, I bought my parents two lovely, handmade coffee cups. They were perfect … and they went in the china cupboard never to be used because they were “too nice.” I told Mom to use them and she said maybe I would want them back when they died. I said, (gosh what a brat), I promise you that if you don’t use those mugs and risk breaking them, I will shatter them to pieces when you are gone.” She wouldn’t, but Dad used a mug. Why save stuff for a might-never-happen time? I’m with you.
First of all I am impressed that your four coffee cups are still in tact…I still own a few things for that length of time that are still in one piece (or at least a couple of pieces or chipped!). I have read that book also and need to reread it again. It was a good one. I am totally with you on it not taking much to make me happy and something is worth the wait if you really want it. Money…it’s such a bugger.
It’s a real shocker that I’ve kept them so long given all my moves: PA to OH to CA to MT to PA. Yikes!
I still have that book in my library–it’s a constant reminder that I don’t really need a new shower curtain. ha!
I love that you still have those mugs! Wow. Yes, we are in the same mindset about spending – separating needs from wants, and, then sometimes still indulging in the wants, but recognizing and acknowledging it’s a want. For us, too, I think travel is a “need,” and we will often equate a purchase to “that’s 4 nights of camping, or two tanks of gas, or one-tenth of an airline ticket. Do we really want to purchase it or do we want to put it in the travel fund?” (What’s that quote? “Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer,” or something like that). Just yesterday I stumbled on a site, Mr. Money Mustache, that takes frugality to a high level: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/. Nice post, Rose!
Yep–you’ve got it. I always think when I walk through a store: gosh, that’s a cute _____, but I don’t need it and I’d rather save that for my trip.
Patty Kreamer also taught me when I buy clothes to leave them in the bag for a week, take them out and decide if I still HAVE to have them instead.
Lots of good ideas out there!
Oh one more…when we find wine on sale that we like, we go get more of it before the price climbs. That’s a need, right?
Money. Money. Money. It does make the world go round. But I am with you, that things do not necessarily make for a fulfilling life. Money is just a tool to be used for good or bad. An often misquoted scripture: Money is not the root of all evil, but the love of money is the root of all evil.
Jesus had a treasurer (so I don’t think He was without finances) and He gave to the poor so much that when Judas left the Upper Room on Passover, the other disciples assumed he was going to give to the poor again. That is an astounding amount of giving.
Like you, giving to support good causes is a great way to find fulfillment and make a difference. Tom and I are also enjoying ‘giving’ to his mom in her later years. Our time, our love, our attention, and meeting some small needs. It feels terrific to be able to give back to our parents. I wish I had done more for my mother when she was alive but I was at a needy time in my life and watching every quarter back then.
Time changes things and life is good, especially when we can use money for little delights in life and cause good things to happen for others.
Sure thing, Susan. I used to HAVE to have hardbacked books, but I’ve lightened my load by using my Kindle. Usually less expensive and take up less room.