I’ve been trying for two hours to write a post in support of the above catchy title.
Yes, I’m turning sixty.
It’s been a confounding 120 minutes. That’s sixty times two.
Do you remember when you were a high school senior and your teachers were thirty-five and you thought, “Man, they’re old”? Then you turned thirty-five and you pushed your version of old age to fifty. Each of the following birthdays moved the distance of what you called “elderly” farther out until suddenly your sixtieth birthday is looming ahead and you find yourself thinking, “I’m too young for this number!”
Complaining
I’ve known for a year (okay, technically for fifty-nine of them) that—the good Lord willing—I’d hit sixty one of these Junes. And here it is. You’d think advance notice would demand a better attitude, right? But here’s to turning sixty with the pending arrival of it driving me to distraction. Or to depression. Some demoralizing d-word at any rate.
Not that I cannot whine with the best of them, but I don’t usually wallow in a state of grumbling. Typically, I voice the trouble and start finding ways to get some humor out of it. If we’re above ground, then really, what is there to complain about?
But here I am, feeling crusty and cranky as I count down the days until I roll into decade number six.
As with any situation that troubles me, I move pen to paper and start writing. Articulating a complaint, especially jotting down the words, helps diminish the power of the emotion. Somehow when looking at the black and white of it, the difficulty is not insurmountable, so the trouble lessens. Usually.
(<This is the face I often wear when complaining. Who complains when in Italy?)
Life Happens While We Age
Reading random lists, I admit to being disheartened by goals I haven’t achieved. Yet. Doesn’t tacking that little word at the end of that sentence indicate that I can still meet my goals? Cross off lack of goal satisfaction from my complaints.
My fortieth birthday was fun even with a dead-end boyfriend not adding much to it. Jackie, sister who turned the big four-oh two years prior, threw me an Herb Party. If you know a keen gardener, this is the way to root them on in multiple ways. Gifts were plants for the newly made herb bed Dad and I dug in my Cottonwood-root-filled-yard. We hacked and sawed and cut and hacked some more and made a tidy six by six space. My friends filled it with a delightful array that I never got to see come to fruition.
Two months later, I made the impulsive decision to bag my ten glorious years in Montana and head back to western Pennsylvania. Pittsburgh was supposed to be a stop gap as I leapt, with my typical laissez faire attitude, into the next great thing. Here I am twenty years later, so it seems the Lord has other plans for me.
Is my melancholy knowing that time, that flaky, unreliable mistress, is running out? That I’m living on the downside of the numbers typically allowed on earth? Is it that although I quite often feel purposeful, I have not found my purpose?
Doesn’t that make my birthday angst sound so much more profound than simple self-pity?
Contemplating Turning Sixty
My purpose, I’ve been led to believe, is to write, to provoke dialogue, show interest in people and the world around me, and never forget that God has me on this word-driven path. I may not always know what direction I’m going. Over the (many) years I am always moving forward, toward where and what I’m intended to be.
Life is made up of milestones like graduations, careers, relationships. These moments mark our lives and we think of our decades in terms of before and after xx happened. Don’t you think, though, what makes living worthwhile are the times we connect our lives with someone else? There is a share smiled, a connection made, and that humanity you carry inside ripples out to others. It’s enlightening.
When I travel, I enjoy museums and tours and learning about the place I’m occupying. However, my most vivid memories are snippets of the people I interact with. The elderly gentleman in the Milan Cathedral who smiled as he taught me how to correctly say Buon Giorno. The bartender who ended his shift at a Lucerne cafe and sat with my husband and I to tell us area stories. The sharp-dressed doorman in London who posed for a picture with me simply because we smiled and waved at him as we walked by.
Making connections in life, keeping my world large, is vital to who I am. RM never wants to be a dull girl.
Celebrating Turning Sixty
Let’s celebrate then, that I’m still here, still kicking and skimming stones into lakes and rivers I walk beside. I’m causing ripples to spin out from my tiny slice of the earth, hoping that as I pass through, I’m leaving more good in my wake than bad.
With those thoughts a part of my intentional living, this birthday shouldn’t be of any more consequence to me than 12 or 29 or 42 or 58. It should simply be another marker of another year well-lived, greatly appreciated, and a launch pad into what’s coming next.
So stop the complaining by ignoring the negatives and contemplate sixty with no more disquiet than I give to the white hairs on my formerly auburn head. Focus, instead, on the delight to be had in the gift of one more year. Find and announce the reasons to celebrate. Here goes…
- I’m fortunate to have good health with only minor glitches here and there.
- My crazy husband and I live in a comfortable home in a safe neighborhood.
- Travel, big trips and little ones, is a constant of my life’s journey.
- Friends and family keep wanting to be my friend—what a compliment!
- I daily pursue the career I love the most: writing. What a blessing.
- Life, my life—in the clearest of terms, is good. What’s to whine about?
Here’s to Being Happy Turning Sixty, RoseMary!
**
Related musings: God, Crown Vetch & Pondering Life
Love your attitude
I get a lot of that from my friends! (PS. A favorite tee I once had, “I have an attitude that won’t quit.”)
Hi ya, Rose Mary. A coworker told me she spent the entire weekend preceding her Monday 60th birthday in tears. She was so upset about turning 60. What?!?! I much prefer your update celebration of another year. Love you.
I’m sad to hear that, Nadine. It’s probably logical to be upset for a bit, but I can’t imagine allowing myself to wallow when there is so much to be happy about!
Happy Birthday, RoseMary! Congrats on reaching your 60s with a joyful look and being full of life and passion for the things that you do. On these occasions, I generally like to wish (pray) for the Lord to grant them the Best of both worlds, and may your radiance continues to shine for many years to come.
Thank you, Emidio and that is a pray I like!
I agree with JJ…My favorite picture is of you Celebrating Life…I share your joy of age 60.
With you shining the way one month ahead of me, Carol, I know that 60 is still flipping awesome!
Here’s hoping you have the best birthday EVER, as you enter your 60th year. I survived it three years ago and am healthy and happy and attempting to enjoy life to the fullest. It would be great if we could meet and toast our longevity together. 🙂
Ah, Doreen, that would be an utterly delightful addition to 2019! Happy & healthy–we’ll just keep going and going!
Happy 60th birthday in advance RoseMary! You look great- the hikes have really paid off!
I believe you are a young as you feel and as long as one has breath, one has hope. We should never stop learning, stop trying, stop being silly. We should always make time for adventures as life can be too serious.
I recall my mother being the same age as I am now. Where has time gone?!
Thank you, Phoenicia! Good genes, I’m sure. When my mom turned 50 and I was 25, she said, how can you be getting older when I feel the same. I know understand what she meant. How can I be 60? But as long as I keep laughing and causing laughter, I’m good.
You have the gift of words…loved every one of them in this post! Especially “Friends and family keep wanting to be my friend—what a compliment I find that to be.” Miss you…time to get together! Hugs!
Thank you, Patty–my friends are the best! Miss you, too. Wine? Coffee? something? HA!
Happy (almost) 60th! I love the bottom picture – it’s everything that almost 60 should be. Some people are “old” at 40. Others are “young” at 70. You create your existence. So I’m glad you’re creating one that’s full of adventure and packed full of life – whatever your age.
You’re right about that, Erica–people age as they decide to. I’m all about staying as young on the inside as I can. The outside will do what it will do!
Fabulous! I think this is the best way to look at things- just keep (in the words of Matthew McConaughey’s character from Dazed and Confused) Livin’ L-I-V-I-N! If you’ve never seen the movie, you must! It’s about the last day of school 1976- great cars and parties!
Do you have a bucket list? Mine is mostly filled with concerts!
I’ve not seen that movie, Dawn. Oh yep, big bucket list–mine is mostly travel. Ah, yours with concerts–that explains the many you see in Pittsburgh each year. Go you!
Love this: “Focus, instead, on the delight to be had in being given one more year. Find and announce the reasons to celebrate. ” I celebrate YOU!
Ah, that was a pearl, huh? Ha ha. You and Michael keep raising the bar of what “retired” means and that 60 is just another couple of digits!
What a delightful post! And I’m so glad you ended it on a happy note 🙂 I’ll turn 62 this month and I eagerly await that milestone. I do worry sometimes that I’m letting life slip through my fingers. My husband and I would love to travel more but we’re rather housebound thanks to our three cats. Unlike children, they never learn to fend for themselves. They haven’t developed opposable thumbs so they can’t at least feed themselves and empty their own litter boxes. And we dote on them, accommodate their eccentricities, and worry about them when we do travel. We wish we would travel more, but we also can’t imagine life with the furry ones. I love how you take stock of all the positives in your life. It’s living in the moment that really counts, isn’t it? I yearn to move out of the southeast and then I see a red-tailed hawk or a couple of bluebirds and I know this is all just fine for now. Happy Birthday, Rose Mary!
And, Happy Early Birthday fellow June girl.
Thanks for reading & commenting, Marie. That’s why I cannot make the commitment to getting a dog. I would love to have the companionship of a pet, but my travel bug is SO intense that the poor thing would spend too much time in a kennel. I had an awesome cat once upon the time, but traveled so much for work that I had to give him away. Luckily, the elder woman who took him loved him and was always home with him. So, I get your cat-loving-homebody-ness! Keep living in the moment for sure!
For a second on the 2nd picture I thought I was looking at myself.
CELEBRATE, CELEBRATE, DANCE TO THE MUSIC!! Celebrate being 60!!
Love you, you are wonderful, loving and kind!
That’s funny! There are many times when I’m going through my 26k photos and will come across one tagged as me and realize it is you or vice versa! Dance to the Music! Love that song! Love you back.
This is such a wonderful post! I love the pics you selected. Forty was a strange year for me since that was the year of going through cancer treatment. I think 60 is great because a handful of great people I know are 60, and I’m glad I can count you in that category. I don’t think I’ve ever felt my age (or looked it). Every day I am alive to breathe is a privilege. I’m still standing and will continue to stand and do the things! That’s all we can really hope for, I suppose. To be of fairly sound mind and body and do the things that bring us joy.
You are part of my inspiration for not complaining more, Jeri. For all my friends who’ve gone through nasty things in the last few years, I feel it’s my responsibility to embrace my age. Even when I want to whine! You make 40 look like 30!
My approach to getting old, or should I say having gotten old, is neither to ponder nor contemplate it, but rather to ignore it. I do everything I can to avoid celebrating birthdays, especially landmark ones. It’s as if I’m trying to make time stand still by never thinking of age.
That’s a pretty funny approach, Ken. How does your family handle your desire not to celebrate your bday? I’d probably still get you a cake!
Oh I so love this! And all of the pictures of you but I have to say the last one is my most favorite, such genuine happiness on that beautiful face of my sister!! Love you!! You are going to rock 60 just like you have rocked every other year!
Just as you are doing with your newly minted age of 50, little sister! Love you much, too.
Why does it show 4 1\2 stars when I rated 5?
cyber gremlins? I can’t see the stars! (it’s daytime–just kidding)
Dork
Yes, but I am YOUR dork.