From a friend’s grandson I hear that the spirit of Santa Claus is more important than the gifts.
My minister reminds me to think about why the holy-day came to be (when was Christ-mass first celebrated anyhow?). My younger brother and older sister help me remember childhood Christmases when we were only three, six (and a half) and seven (and three-quarters). What do we really recall and what comes from the photographs? Does it matter? Some parts of Christmas stayed the same for us for decades:
Our parents made Christmas special. Not because of the number or cost of the gifts we received, but because of the sentiment surrounding the giving.
Christmas at our home was a production in every good sense of the word.
- Church was midnight mass with Mom.
- I found tiny songbooks full of hymns and got my family to sing several of them one Christmas Eve as we sat around the fanciful pine tree.
- We ate cookies for breakfast. Still legal in my home, but only for the holidays.
- One of us would wake up, run through the house to the family room and check: Santa had come! That one would wake another kid, then another kid and traipse into our parents’ bedroom. Were they ever asleep with three sets of toddler-sized feet running through the house? Santa came! Always patient, they’d respond, Wait in the kitchen, no going in the room! Patience from us? Who were they kidding? We’d stand outside the family room, looking in wonder at the tree, the colorful packages, maybe see the edge of an unwrapped gift that signaled it had come directly from Santa.
- “Turn the lights on!” Mom would say. Each kid took a room, dashing to plug in Christmas lights so that our neighbors (most of them family) would see: Oh, Gilbert and Mary’s kids are up!
The time on the clock never mattered to our parents.
One Christmas, Jackie or I (Joey was too little to have done this) woke up at two-thirty in the morning. There was no brightly decorated tree in the living room when we went to bed. We were worried and barely slept. No packages peeked out from hidden corners of the family room. That morning, both sisters now awake, little girls barely grown out of their Dr. D’s tiptoed into our parents’ room. We each took a parent and shook a shoulder: Santa came! Groggily, we got a response, saw a glance at the clock, a moan from one of them. “Okay, girls, get your brother up.”
Yes, our parents got out of bed. They plugged in the coffee pot while we plugged in Christmas lights. We ate cookies while they drank full-tilt coffee. We had a really long Christmas Day.
Another favorite Christmas tradition
One of my favorite parts of unwrapping gifts—which we did during Dad’s last Christmas with us—is destroying the wrappings. We made a colored explosion of paper throughout the room. Our parents forbade us from neatly unwrapping presents and delicately saving the paper. “Rip in!” They’d say. “Have fun!” “Make a mess!”
I remember laughing, laughing, and much more laughing as we enjoyed spending special time together.
Isn’t that kind of behavior–simple celebrations–the spirit of Christmas?
Those joys of family sharing the December 25th holiday has stayed with me and my siblings.
I’m teaching it to Alex as we have another Christmas together. His upbringing was different from mine, but he’s learning that it’s never about the amount a gift costs, it’s about the thought that goes into giving it. Our first year, he got me a green—my favorite color—backpack for day hikes. It’s perfect!
The rest of our childhood Christmas days would go like this:
- Church. It was important to our parents that we understood the meaning of the day: that it was about Christ’s birth, not the Santa Claus legend. (Like the Easter Bunny and Christ’s resurrection, I never understood the connection between St Nick and the birth of Jesus. I always strove to make a connection, to tie the two together in my kid-brain. I never got there.)
- A simple dinner mid-afternoon. Isn’t the joy of breaking bread a part of Christmas?
- Dad’s parents would walk across the dead-end road, named after Grandpa’s family, and patiently sit with each child as we showed them every gift and explained why we’d gotten it. Isn’t that sort of indulgence a part of Christmas?
- There’d be visiting at one of Dad’s sibling’s homes or at our own. With two brothers and two sisters in close proximity (the other sister far away), there was no limit to the chaos. And that was with adults who hadn’t yet had the two kids each they’d wind up with! (Okay, cousins, maybe one or two of you were babies….)
Being with Family and Friends at Christmas Means Everything
The year Mom died and Dad was deep into his battle with ALS by Christmastime, I realized what the holy-day had always boiled down to. Christmas is a celebration of joy, family, ultimate giving by God of a son into our world, and teaching us complete, unconditional love.
Scrooge, before his journey of enlightenment, states vehemently, “You keep Christmas in your way and I will keep it in mine!”
We each have our own traditions, our own ways of enjoying family and friends during the upcoming holidays … that’s as individual as our DNA. I hope, though, in the midst of the commercialism hoisted on us and the pressure by marketers to give more, spend bigger … that we take time to consider why we are celebrating December 25th. Why is this a date that dominates much of the world? Why do we light up our “inns” with colors and brightness?
Those answers, sharing with others what the day means to you … are the most important reasons for keeping Christmas, aren’t they?
Let me know what Christmas means to you…
* Read: Ah, to a Red Lodge Christmas Stroll and here
Christmas was never my favorite holiday as the hype that came with it left me a little cold. The hype seemed to say, be happy, be joyful, and do that now. But time and circumstance sometimes fly into the face of “Have a Merry Christmas,” Christmas has been a learning experience. I think it sort of came to me when they were shipping my son off to war. That year we went out in the woods here and he cut a nice cedar tree for our tree. It was cold and windy as we found our way back through the woods, to our home and warm fire. My son and my mother (now deceased) put the tree up together and decorated it. Christmas music was playing. “All is calm, all is bright,” Then something seemed to say, “see this? take this picture in your mind. This is a special moment that won’t come back this way again.” My heart was warmed but sort of saddened at the same time. The moment never came back. But I have that picture. Thank God
Dear Marvin, this is why I always enjoy reading your stories. You’ve put me right in that moment with you. My sister and I call those God-moments–when you have a singular instance of perfection. I hope this year is special as can be.
Our family gets together and we bake. As the mom I’m sous chef and clean up crew. Work a jigsaw and do the NYT Mega puzzle. Walk. Play Pickleball. And do the scavenger hunt I created. So much fun and laughter.
and s
and reaching out to good friends!!! Hi RM
happy new year
Jennifer
Scavenger hunt for Christmas! This sounds like such a delightful Jennifer thing to do. Your day is a fun plan and I’d like to be the proverbial fly on the wall–especially as you’re baking. Yum!
I may well be the odd one here. We don’t celebrate Christmas in the traditional sense. Oh, I send decorative wreathes to close family members in the North and mail a Christmas card or two. But without family close by, it’s another day for us, and we’re okay with that. The consumerism around us can be overwhelming, and this year grief is that much more acute with all my immediate family gone. While I enjoy giving, I don’t miss the expectations of receiving, of exchanging. And so, Christmas at a distance keeps me sane
Writer Marie, “Christmas at a Distance,” sounds like a short story waiting to be written. It’s also just Alex and me this year, so low key it is. We’re going to attempt to make ravioli–which at least usually provides us with laughs.
My heart is with you in your losses. It doesn’t seem time fades much of that pain when we get to the holidays. My parents, ya know? They just had to go and make it such fun.
Hugs.
Christmas has always been a special time for me. One of the things I love to do is share gifts from my kitchen. It has become a tradition in my neighborhood. So much so others are now participating. ❤️
I’d have fallen over in surprise, Susan, if food didn’t play a part in your Christmas! I’ve made some of your yummy recipes and enjoyed the book you wrote about your childhood. So many delights–when can I be your neighbor?
Christmas was so very special! For me, now that I’m much, much older it’s about worship on Christmas Eve and having a special Christmas Day even if it’s only my husband and I. Kids can’t always make it here or I have to share with in-law parents. It’s the JOY and HOPE of the season and knowing Jesus as my Savior!
That’s a pretty wonderful way to approach Christmas, dear sister! Keeping joy and hope in our hearts right now–when they weigh so heavy–can be the only way to stay sane. I miss our Christmases together!
Christmas is always a very busy time of year with shopping, wrapping gifts, cooking, writing Christmas cards, cleaning, and decorating the house. With all this going on , I keep telling myself it’s our family time that is always the most important part of this holiday!!!!! This year will be extra special because Dan & his family will be here the day after Christmas so we can all celebrate together! Can’t wait!! ❤️
Your family always seems to have so much humor going on in it, Mary! From Ruby to Joe and everyone in between. It’s a delight to have you for neighbors. (And forgive slacker me–very little baking this year and I still haven’t sent a card!) Safe travels to Dan and everyone as you get together to celebrate!
Christmas still means a great deal to me. It was always a day to look forward to, but now at my age, it ends up being a day of memories of all the people who made those Christmases wonderful – but they are gone forever.
Gone until we see them again! I love Christmas and friendship and being mushy about great memories. Isn’t it wonderful?
Christmas is the most joyous time of the year! I find as I get older that it seems to take more effort, especially as kids are grown and they do their own thing. But make the effort…. I do! It’s gifts made with love, twinkly lights, special treats (Irish cream), just the joy of knowing the God sent His son to save ME!
Well said, Seester! It was an effort to decorate this year–especially earlier than usual. But now that it is almost all day, I feel a sense of joy for the season. I finished a YouVersion bible study this morning about the Holy Spirit that made me think of that very thing! Timing!
Christmas to me is all about my children. The tree, the presents, the decorations have all always been for them. As they get older and move away, Christmas becomes a time to have them all together again, although I’m afraid that might not happen this year as none of us are interested in getting on a plane.
That is a wonderful way to find joy at Christmas, Ken! Yes, this year is drastically different for nearly everyone on the planet (everyone everywhere?) and will be harder to celebrate. But, I’m sentimental and will find a way to be mushy with those I love!
Hi RoseMary. I do recall some wonderful family traditions surrounding all the holidays when I was really young. But my mom became very ill by the time I was 12 & passed by the time I was 13. Nothing was ever the same after that.
I’m sorry that you lost your mother when you were so long. I lost mine when I was 49 and that was too young. It’s just never easy.
I hope that the holiday season, even given covid, brings you lots of joy this year.
My wonderful siblings kept these great traditions going for their baby sister years later so I also have these wonderful memories to hold and cherish. Traditions I try to keep going as I am blessed to live in our parents house. I still plug in all those lights when I wake up Christmas morning and always hear mom say let everyone know we are up, then I pour my own cup of coffee and enjoy the spirit of the day.
And golly I wish I could be there with you some Christmas morning! What a hoot that would be!
We had great Christmases! I hope our kids remember their Christmases with joy!
Me, too, always such fun.
It’s interesting forming family traditions as our two boys grow. With one teenager and a nearly 11 year old you’d think that they’d be growing out of Christmas. But au contraire, they seem to be growing into it! And in a good way, too. No more the senseless giving of a multitude of gifts but a genuine enjoyment of family and togetherness. I am eternally grateful for that. This year will be only our second ever spent just the four of us. I can’t wait!
Monika, it’s great fun to hear that your boys are growing more into the real meaning behind celebrating Christmas. That is awesome. Let me know how the togetherness goes. I assume they get a good break from school over the holidays, the way kids do in the states.
And one of my favorites now is decorating the tree: I have a collection of ornaments from friends, family, coworkers, friends who are gone etc. from all around the country. Unwrapping each one and remembering The Who and why behind the ornament is a special time.
Same here, LaRue! Mom made 90% of the ornaments on our tree and the balance have been given to me as gifts. I remember a boss with this one, a cousin with that, a friend with another. Joy.
I am re- reading you Christmas posts. Not sure if I commented previously or not. Like you the number of gifts were small, but the thought behind each were meaningful. A handmade doll cradle was a favorite. Going to midnight mass with my father all by myself the year our oldest brother was very ill is still a picture etched in my mind. Thanks for the memories Rose
Thanks for sharing those memories, LaRue. I’m betting you and Jim have kept the holidays very joyful for your grand boys. Mom always took us to midnight mass, too. Those siblings stayed true to form for a long time.
Dear cousin, how sweetly you have added wonderful memories and present Christmas joys to my blog! The smells, the sounds….the genuine kindnesses that people seem to more easily share this time of year. Ah….and I’m listening to Bing Crosby wishing us all a white Christmas!
This is a lovely sentiment and so nicely written (as usual). I enjoy the pictures, too. Mysteriously they look just like our family pictures from the same decades! Christmas is my favorite time of year. I like to take some vacation days from work so that the holiday preparations aren’t hectic – love the beautiful decorations, the comforting routine of sending and receiving cards, holiday smells of baking cookies, taking the time to visit friends and family, finding that special gift to give, the joy of a children’s pageant at Christmas Eve service, or the quiet calm of the candlelight service. Oh, and the music, I love the music. I feel the goodwill of the season or hmm….perhaps it’s me spreading the goodwill?
I love this post! Brought back so many happy memories that have been lying dormant for too long. Time and family change but memories only get better. Thanks for awakening the Christmas in me!