Our parents provided a unique approach to money.
(Think budget. Tight budget. Think living frugally.)
Merriam-Webster defines frugal as: being careful about spending money or using things when you don’t need to; simple and plain.
Were my parents extraordinarily frugal or simply intelligent about money?
I have often marveled at our parents’ ability to give us so much with what they had on hand. Dad worked for a steel mill, earning a decent wage, but by no means an exorbitant salary. Mom worked outside the home once or twice during my junior high school years. But with four kids stretched across twelve years, she was needed at home.
Somehow, with three little kids around and another added when I was ten, we always had enough. We were never without food on the table, clothes and shoes to wear, and Christmases consisted of nice gifts.
Let’s digress about Living Frugally at Christmas
Our Christmases were special because of how our parents approached the holy-day. It wasn’t because of the number of presents we were given. Nor was it the monetary value of the gifts. Our parents were aces at making Christmas an event because of the sentiment, thoughtfulness, and honesty surrounding the giving. They also never let us lose sight of Christ, despite the fun of having Santa Claus in our lives.
Don’t let this special holiday become one of stress or debt that you are stuck with until next December. Your children and family will remember for decades what the holiday felt like—far longer than they remember the presents.
Our Parents were Never Overloaded in Debt
If they needed a new washing machine, it was purchased on credit and diligently paid off before any other sizable purchases were made. Who does that these days? When I got divorced, was penniless with a mortgage, a low-paying job and an empty home, I followed their lead. I needed a bed. I bought it on time and when it was paid off, I replaced my defunct washer. The dryer went next and I hung clothes outside year around. The blessing of Montana is the airiness that dries items dangling from a line.
Other Ways of Living Frugally
I’m sure I was occasionally given Jackie’s hand me downs. With only one year and three months between us, it’s most likely we were growing at about the same rate and size. When we were little, Mom made our clothes. Gosh, I had some favorites! Like the little dress on the homepage of this blog. There was also a reversible blue vest that I wore until it was worn out.
Mom used tea bags twice, letting the tea steep two or three minutes. She would pull the bag onto a teaspoon, twist the thin string around spoon and bag to squeeze the tea. After drinking one cup, she would repeat with another dump of boiling water. Who does that these days? I don’t. When I want a strong cup of Chamomile, I extravagantly plop two tea bags in the mug.
Living Frugally is Important for Marital Compatibility
Alex and I share this money attitude. Our deck was in a sad state. We debated hiring someone to do it because of Alex’s travel with his job. We got a ballpark figure that blew our socks off, looked at each other and agreed, let’s do it ourselves. With the money we saved, we purchased the deck canopy and furniture. The monetary savings was great, to be sure. Even better was the satisfaction of doing it ourselves and for me, learning how to use more power tools.
Self-sufficiency
I grew up in a family of: Hmmm, I need that and don’t have it…. Okay, I’ll make it. I thought that was what everyone did and didn’t learn differently until college. That’s when a bias was uncovered: all men do not know how to fix cars. What a shocker. I thought it was genetic. Men, I had to recalibrate how I judged you and pull fundamental car knowledge from the list! Dad fixed cars—he liked it and also for the extra income. Mom wanted new coffee tables for the family room. She built them. Who does that these days?
When my sisters want something new to decorate the house, they first look around at what’s on hand. Being creative, they are soon sending me pictures, saying, check this out.
Do you do that frugal thing these days?
What prompts you to pause for a minute and think: I can do that!
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I loved our growing up and learning to look at something and saying I can make, whatever out of that.
It’s such a Griffith thing, isn’t it? How often did our dad, so by default mom, look at what we needed and say, “Well, I can make that.” Next thing we knew, there it was.
Being frugal has made me more creative. Needs some napkins? Buy a yard of fabric. Need a new decoration, paint a piece of wood and put something on it. We’ve never been wealthy but we’ve always had enough. God is a great provider!
God is! I love to re-purpose stuff. Basket received with Christmas cookies? It now holds magazines.
It was my idea many moons ago when I started college that we draw names for Christmas. It’s much more fun to buy one good gift for one person rather than 15 so/so gifts for various family members. I grew up with the example that debt is not good and it stuck, though I am fine with taking on debt judiciously when I have a clear plan for how I will pay it off. Mostly, I just don’t buy a lot of stuff.
You were/are a wise young woman, Jeri! We should teach budgeting and money management starting in about 9th grade, eh? I am always stunned when I hear the credit card debt load many people have—not out of unexpected crises, but out of buying stuff.
Phil and I aren’t very hands-on right now, so we so pay for people to do a lot of things. However, we price it out and make sure we are comfortable with the numbers. Now that the kids are getting older and easier to watch, we ARE doing a little more ourselves (replacing the workings in a toilet, shaving down summertime-swollen doors, etc).
It feels great because I, as well, had a Daddy who fixed everything. If he couldn’t himself, they would have to rearrange the budget to cover the cost; this sometimes meant no vacation that year or no eating out for a while.
Now for the “Who does that?!?” I have started baking our bread. It’s not to save money since you can buy bread so cheap now. It’s for the health factor, but I have realized that it’s not hard. I also make our laundry soap (Paige has sensitive skin, so the good stuff is more $ than I’m willing to spend). I would like to make our cleaners, but every time one gets low, a new one mysteriously ends up in its place. 🙂 baby steps.
(I love, by the way, how you get so enthused with projects, and I love hearing about them from you!)
How fun that you are baking bread! Seester did it for years and years. I did it for years. Ha. It’s a very satisfying thing to do, isn’t it? Seester has also been making soap for over a year and I prefer it SO much more to store bought. It’s gentler on my skin, smells great and leaves my skin softer. I’ll send you Lenie’s blog–she comes up with the best household solutions EVER.
You and I are akin in our frugalness, Tammy!
I great admire the traits you describe! You may call it frugal – I call it making the best of what you have. I love the idea that you did the deck yourself. I have wanted to repaint the downstairs bathroom myself – maybe one of these days I will do it!
Oh a bathroom challenge, Leora! That sounds so intriguing. Husband did the master bath years ago, before I moved in. He has always hated it and wants to re-do it. Do I have ideas for him! ha! Of course, I have no idea where you even begin re-doing something so huge. I think a kitchen would be easier. Or not!
I was taught that debt was a no-no, that’s for sure. My parents weren’t as “handy” as yours were, but if we couldn’t afford it, we didn’t get it plain and simple. The difference today, as I see it, is this instant gratification thing. When we were old enough, we worked for what we wanted…we earned it. I remember doing everything in my first house (painting, refinishing the wood floors) because we couldn’t afford to hire the work. But sometimes we did it just because we could! It was gratifying!
I like the: if we couldn’t afford it, we didn’t get it. Right on, Jacquie. I had credit card debt one time in my entire life. It was maybe $300, but I cut the card up until I paid that off and I never carried a balance again–unless it was for that one time purchase. Diligently paid for monthly with no other credit purchases made until it was at a zero balance.
It is gratifying to do this stuff ourselves! With Pittsburgh’s rainy June, we may never get the deck stained until August!