With Black Friday looming on November’s horizon,
it is a good time to write about stuff. I don’t mean that in the vague, sort of I-don’t-know-what-to-say way. I mean, literally, the stuff overflowing closets, attics, basements, and—whoa, the garage we drove by last night (on the way to the store)—causing the need to rent storage.
Americans have too many possessions.
That’s not news, is it?
The National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals (NAPO) started in 1983 and has 3,500 members. That a group exists for the purpose of getting people, and our goods, organized tells us that something is awry with how we live.
Americans hear that we have a stuff-problem the way we hear we have an obesity problem. What are we doing about the overconsumption of both food and purchases? What makes people keep stuff? Food included? What makes us consume more than we need? Instead of not-accumulating more, the storage rental business is booming. I chuckled when one was built beside Costco.
Hoarding became a household term, defined by The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, in 2013. Minimalist me has come across the occasional person who owns, to my mind, too many things for their inhabited space. I didn’t understand the extent of the problem until I gaped at Hoarders. The show has been running since 2009, but I’ve never watched a second episode.
We’re not neat freaks, but husband Alex and I are tidy. Our house is clean and clearly lived in. Flowers are drying on the baker’s rack, my getting-red-inked novel is on an end table, and one bathroom is under remodel. Visitors see that we live in our home. Except for our only storage space (split level homes lack) under the entry way stairs, there aren’t hidden stashes.
When do we eliminate belongings?
I started to actively, consciously, get rid of possessions after my twentieth post-college move. Dragging boxes home-to-home and state-to-state wore me out. With one disastrous Allied Moving Van experience under my belt (hmmm, haven’t thrown belts out for a while, I’ll do that), I’ve self-moved the rest of the time. AMV lost important items. Not dishes from Target. They lost heirlooms and broke my heart. Like the jingle bell bracelet Miles gave me in fifth grade. I wore that bracelet every Christmas. No lie, Miles, I did. It made me smile with kid enthusiasm.
Cleaning, I slipped on a t-shirt purchased during the Italian sister trip when our luggage was lost for seven of ten days. It’s faded to gray, the sleeves have shrunk to above my wrists, and the bottom hem is unraveling. I’m cleaning—should I buy special clothes for the task? I don’t think so.
The Griffith men are the epitome of anti-consumers, as are Alex and my brother-in-law, John. They share the Dad and brothers-Griffith trait of wearing clothes until the word frayed doesn’t begin to describe their condition. I remember holding a Dad t-shirt (Fruit of the Loom, grey, pocket mandatory to hold his pack of cigarettes) up to the light and seeing his face through it. He grinned and said, put it back in the drawer, I’m not done wearing it.
John? I’ve seen him leave for work wearing a shirt that once had long sleeves. After he blew out both elbows, Jackie cut off the arms converting it to short sleeves. He is a master stonemason, so his attire during the workday matters only to him.
Alex. Could I simply say that as a two-time Pitt grad, he has college t-shirts that could compete with Dad’s for transparency?
Where do I fall in all the behavior of collecting stuff?
I hate shopping so retail therapy is not a habit I embrace (too many years working in malls). There are exceptions.When the Borders two miles from us closed their doors, I wept. I enjoy browsing housewares and oddly, I admit, hardware stores. Not much comes home, but I enjoy the aesthetics of looking.
Having sold or given away over 200 books in said moves, I buy more via my Kindle these days than in print. When I buy a print book, it’s because I intend to re-read it, to find joy in loaning it to a friend, and happiness when they return it. I frequent the library’s used book store, paying $2.00 for a hardback, reading it, then donating it so they can sell it once more.
Cleaning & Clearing
When I cleaned the kitchen cupboards this summer, I packed up so much for St. Vincent’s DePaul’s charity store that we had an empty cupboard. Granted, it was the skinniest one in the room, but still, I was proud of the achievement.
Like that shabby TerraNova, Italian t-shirt, I had one pair of pumps leftover from my office days. They’re Eitenne Aigner, and I loved them so it took until this summer for me to admit it was time to pass them on.
The one-in, two-out rule works well for me. If I ever replace those Eitenne pumps, I’ll need to toss out something, continuing to cut down on the chattel in my life. When I sense things accumulating, I think of that TV show and vow not to become any version of a hoarder.
Mental crowding goes with home crowding
Understanding the stuff in my brain has helped me understand the odds and ends I cart around. I’m proud for getting down to three storage bins, keeping only books I love on my shelves, and for donating office clothing to the local Dress for Success program. I’m moving my possessions along to other people who can use them now that I can’t.
My head, full of non-stop ideas, seems to be calmer as the items around me shrink. When I sit to write, I follow the Michael Connelly habit of nothing on my antique library table but that project. I eliminate the distractions so they can’t work against my productivity.
Before I go to sleep, I make sure email is off and Safari is closed. This helps me, ever-distractible me—from getting off course first thing in the morning. These little tricks keep my whirling-dervish thoughts from getting out of control. Minimize what’s around me to maximize what comes out of my work.
What about you?
The holidays are coming. Black Friday sale ads have begun bombarding us. CyberMonday is sure to offer temptations. How do you decide what new stuff you’ll bring into your house or what stuff to add to your gift-recipients homes? Have you tried giving consumable items: wine (always a hit with my friends!), candles (for the cozy-minded), and food (one never fails with chocolate).
For me, I’ll walk through the house a few more times before I start holiday decorating. I’ll look over this shelf, dip into that dresser drawer, and decide … is there something here that needs a new home?
What do you do? Will you do anything differently this year after reading this, perhaps thinking,
Hmmm, how much of a consumer do I want to be?
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Great post! I am a minimalist in every way possible and avoid having items in my home which have no use or beauty. Our home is tiny (under 700 sq ft) so I do a good job of keeping doorways and hallways clear.
I have watched the series on hoarders and am amazed at how many possessions people hold onto over the years. One woman could not enter her living room as it was jam packed!
Hiw awful that your suitcase was lost for 7 days. Knowing you, you were able to look on the bright side!
Nice photograph of you!
I admire how you manage your household, Phoenicia! Ew, that hoarders thing is just so gross. I couldn’t cope even a little bit. Yes, we did well with the lost luggage–we always find a way.
Hi RoseMary and thanks for recirculating this post as I love it. It always brings new thoughts to mind. Friends of mine live in a tiny 700-square-foot apartment. She therefore has a rule that if something (other than food and wine) comes into the apartment, something must go out as they have no place to hide excess anything! I’ve tried to adapt that rule at least somewhat, and over the winter do plan to make a lot more space in my cupboards. There’s always someone who will use things that I no longer can. Merry Christmas to you!
Thank you for re-reading, Doreen. My last apartment was that size–I can’t imagine sharing that space with another person! Wow to your friends doing that. Good luck with your winter re-org. I got our upper kitchen cabinets done last spring, but never got around to the bottom ones. That’s on the list!
I have seen the good life but I have seen the bad life, where you lack everything, so when I can indulge in acquiring stuff, I do it without thinking.
I live with my sister and grandpa and there is too much stuff in our home. Getting organized is my next priority. In Nigeria, we have nothing like Black Firday.
I am on vacation in Texas, so this would be my first experience, and I can’t wait. I’ll do this with a lot of caution!
Oh my, Tope! Your first Black Friday experience. How did it go? I apologize for the craziness you surely witnessed. I find too much stuff overwhelming mentally. Getting organized can sure help with that.
I have been adopting the “Patty rule” for quite a while now. It is especially easy when you have a very sweet daughter who will make you try on everything in your closet and then make you donate 90% of it to Goodwill! “It’s too big, too small, the wrong color, you’ve had that forever.” I have to admit that I did take a couple things back out of the Goodwill bags after she left! I just keep purging a little at a time. I can proudly say that my cubby holes in my upstairs are mostly empty. It feels good!
That smart niece of mine! I also swipe back from the Goodwill bag occasionally. That favorite shirt that I really wasn’t quite ready to eliminate. I think that’s okay!
Great “stuff”, Rose! Remember, love is for people, not stuff. Stuff can’t love you back.
And one more thing, you can have either your space or your stuff. But you can’t have both. Which would you rather have?
You are exactly right, Patty.
I’d rather have space to move and dance in.
I really like the one in, two out rule. There’s nothing like moving to remind you how much stuff you have and how much of it you don’t use! We have a move coming up, but I won’t be able to get rid of as much as I want because my wife likes to hold on to it!
That’s one of my favorite–and how I gain ground on “stuff.” For your wife ( 🙂 ) I recommend Patty’s Clutter Rescue Course. It helps those keepers we love.
Shoes don’t count for the one in, 2 out rule. It should be 2 in at a time! Yes, I have too much stuff. WAY too much stuff. Why can’t I part with more stuff?
Okay, okay, maybe shoes shouldn’t count.
Some of us have an Achilles heel for certain stuff – a friend and I were at lunch yesterday and agreed, we don’t need any more clothes. Then we went to one of our favourite stores “just to look”, lost track of time and our cars were nearly towed!!! But I have a rule – every time I buy something new (like I did yesterday), I have to recycle something old. It’s almost working! Like Doreen, I”m in Canada.
That’s a good way to go about the process, Krystyna. Donating/recycling–it’s a win win.
Isn’t it amazing how much “stuff” we accumulate over the years! I too have pondered how much space I need to hold all the “stuff” that I had to have.
🙂
Move a lot, Susan! Ha!
Stuff! It invades our lives, usually quietly and in ways we least suspect. Until it is too late. We have always made a point to set aside stuff that will go to Goodwill. The thing that has always amazed me is how much that pile of stuff seems to multiply even when we don’t shop as often.
Hi Rose: Great post.
My husband is older than me and lived thru the Great Depression when they had nothing and had to scramble for every meal. He therefore over compensates now by wanting to have 10 different kinds of jam or salad dressing, doesn’t like to eat leftovers, and always likes to see the cupboards, fridge, and freezer overflowing. It’s tough to live with that as I’m constantly trying to make room for everything he brings home! By the way, you asked what countries we are in. I’m in Canada.